Tony Myles writes: I once worked in a job where I feared for my job… everyday. And I wasn’t alone. It wasn’t because of the economy, and it wasn’t because we were all bad employees. It was because our boss was insecure and came across like a lion to everyone. He was someone who only cared about the idea of success than in creating the environment for it. I’ve been in the exact opposite situation, though. I’ve served in church staff teams where we were so inspired by the character and direction of our main leader that we climbed over ourselves to be a part of what he was up to. It’s the difference between transactional relationships versus transformational relationships:
- Transactional relationships:
- You focus on what needs to happen.
- You’re concerned with the appearance of non-failure.
- You spend your time one-upping each other.
- Transformational relationships:
- You focus on who each person is becoming.
- You’re concerned with the health of people.
- You spend your time sacrificing for each other.
Every relationship, organization, classroom and work environment tends to run with one of these two models dominating. You can influence that, whether you’re at the top or bottom of the totem pole.
- T: Take the initiative in your own life first – become the person you want others to be.
- R: Raise your eyes – set your focus on things above versus things of the earth (Col 3:1-4)
- A: Ask others questions – find out who they are and what they’re most concerned about in life.
- N: Nurture conversation – set up regular lunch times where everyone gets together to chat.
- S: Say the mission – don’t just nod your head at what’s on the wall, but use it in conversation.
- F: Face people – don’t multitask during conversations (close the laptop and turn off your phone).
- O: Own mistakes – if you know you did something wrong, apologize right away.
- R: Raise standards – stop using the phrase “That was good enough.”
- M: Mind your mind – introduce people to new thoughts and ideas that can lead to change.
In the end, you will influence others either out of your:
- Title: Parent, spouse, employer, employee, customer, teacher, student, pastor, tither, guest, regular, etc
- Influence: Your integrity, your passion, your relationship with God, etc
So… what is your next step to create healthy people instead of yet another power play?
The most important [commandment], answered Jesus, is this: “Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” The second is this: â€˜Love your neighbor as yourself.â€™ There is no commandment greater than these.â€ (Mark 12:29-31)
By: Tony Myles