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You’ve got to have some accountability and some boundaries set up in your counseling relationships. Here are some practical things you can do to start that process… Setting boundaries is an important part of establishing an accountability system and heading off improprieties in counseling relationships. Even you as the counselor need to keep a close watch on maintaining the boundaries, as inappropriate feelings can affect both parties. Watch for the following warning signs: An increase in personal conversations Inappropriate physical contact Fantasies about a sexual relationship with the counselee Offers to drive counselee home Meetings outside of the normal counseling session time Hiding feelings and/or meetings with the counselee from accountability systems, including your spouse (Via Church Executive.) QUESTION: What guidelines do YOU have in place for counseling at your church? Have you ever come close to crossing the line? Todd

Lifehacker had an interesting post the other day on cheating.  I hear way too many stories about cheating pastors.  I always wonder why and how they ever get to this point.  This is really something to consider: Cheating doesn’t occur just because it’s a possibility, but because the alternative to cheating is potentially worse. Say you’re back in high school and you have a history test in the morning. History is your worst subject because you don’t like it and can’t seem to memorize a bunch of dates you find incredibly boring. As a result, there’s a very likely chance you will fail the test and it will 1) negatively impact you grade, which 2) will negatively impact your chances of getting into the college you want, which 3) will result in an angry parent. Alternatively, you can cheat and be guaranteed a good grade. This, of course, comes with the risk of getting caught but you have to weigh that risk against the risk of failing”which is basically an assurance. Comparing this to the dating scenario, more people will choose to try and fail because it’s the more assured outcome, like not asking someone out for dinner. Cheating happens when the risk of getting caught cheating isn’t as scary as failing. With the dating scenario, you’re more likely to ask someone out if being alone is scarier than being rejected. When cheating becomes the more attractive outcome, people choose it. (Via Lifehacker.) Wow… I really like that quote:
Cheating happens when the risk of getting caught cheating isn’t as scary as failing.
Could this be true? Is this why so many pastors fall into the temptation of cheating on their wives, losing their career, their families, and everything they’ve worked hard and given their lives for? Does cheating happen for a pastor when the act of getting caught cheating isn’t really as scary as overall failure? Food for thought. What do YOU think? Todd