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Current Events
A Florida woman faces a charge of battery causing bodily harm after breaking the eleventh commandment: Thou shalt not throw thy Bible at thy son’s girlfriend. She is literally a Bible beater. And also a bauble beater, because the fight erupted once she suspected the girlfriend of breaking the seventh commandment—”thou shall not steal my boyfriend’s mother’s jewelry.” The Northwest Florida Daily News reports that she used the Bible to smite the girlfriend in the eye, causing a bleeding wound. The son, who witnessed the conflict, seemingly did nothing to stop it. Perhaps he was being attacked by locusts and got distracted. The Bible seems to address situations like these in Exodus 21:26, which says: “If a man strikes his servant’s eye, or his maid’s eye, and destroys it, he shall let him go free for his eye’s sake.” Because the girlfriend’s eye was only injured and not destroyed, she should still be on the hook for the missing jewelry. via Woman Injured During Bible Fight. (Thanks to @lindastanley for the heads up on this one!) QUESTION:  Have you ever wanted to hit someone with your KJV?  (Be honest)

Current Events
Laguna Beach — What witnesses say started out with Bible study took a strange turn before ending with the arrest of a 39-year-old Panama City Beach woman. While there are two versions of what happened, deputies say that Hiedi Rhodes was nearly too drunk to tell her version, and that it was vague and didn’t match what the other three witnesses told them. That inconsistency, and the testimony of the other three women gathered for the Bible study, is likely what led to her arrest. Deputies arrived to a call for help to find two women in a physical fight inside a home on Laureno Place, in the Laguna Beach area. After breaking up the fight, two deputies separated the women to hear both sides of the story. During what deputies describe as a “rambling” testimony, Rhodes said that the other woman had attacked her because she’d called her boyfriend earlier, and told him that his dog was roaming the neighborhood. The other version of the story does not paint Rhodes as the victim, but rather as the aggressor. According to that version of the story, Rhodes was sitting in the living room of the home with three other women after Bible study when she pulled out a marijuana cigarette and started to light it. The resident told Rhodes not to smoke in her home, and that she should leave. The witnesses say that sparked an argument, and Rhodes hit the other woman in the face. (Deputies noted that the other woman did in fact have a bloody nose.) As the woman tried to call the police, the fight spilled into the kitchen, which is where the two women were when deputies arrived. Aside from the victim’s bloody nose, Rhodes had a small bruise on her forehead where she said the other woman had punched her, and some blood coming from an ear piercing, where Rhodes says the other woman pulled her earring. Deputies placed Rhodes under arrest. A marijuana cigarette was found on the living room floor, which each woman said belonged to the other. via Women’s Bible study ends with bloody nose and arrest.