Pastors and their Smokin' Hot Wives

Pastors and their smokin’ hot wives.  What a topic.  It’s been the trend for many pastors to say their wife is ‘smokin’ hot’ ever since this 2011 prayer.

But some don’t think you should be saying this.  Here’s why Jeff Fisher doesn’t like it when you talk about your own smokin’ hot wife:


  1. It makes me want to check out your wife – When I hear anyone say he has a “smoking hot” wife, I want to check her out for myself. I want to rate her on the “smokin’ hotness” scale. You push my button and trigger me to check out your wife.
  2. Strong sexual connotations with the phrase in our culture – The phrase is already being used in our culture to describe Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends, Miss America, America’s Top Model, and the Hooter’s waitresses you saw during lunch. It’s not a phrase we need to “claim for Jesus” from our pulpits.
  3. Focuses on the wrong thing – The message a pastor is sending is “look at the package.” God teaches us to value women, honor them, love them.
  4. Has objectification written all over it – There’s a fine line between admiring beauty and objectifying. In a lust-driven society we may say we’re admiring beauty, but we’re really saying “I want that for my own visual or sexual pleasure.” When we objectify we don’t value the human being, we take in the picture, video, or live person in front of us for our own pleasure.
  5. What message is this sending to wives? – Wives have a hard enough time with low self-esteem when it comes to their image. Magazines and movies already teach women that image is the most important thing; they don’t need their pastor sending the same message.
  6. What if I don’t have a “smoking hot” wife? – Guys get jealous quick and covetous of another’s “smoking hot” wife whenever their relational intimacy at home is failing.
  7. Is the pastor more blessed for having a “smokin’ hot wife”? – Any wife is a blessing from the Lord. The illusion for some is that the holy guy gets the better looking women. Would you be thanking God for your “average looking” wife? Would you even acknowledge this from the pulpit?

The backlash even produced a blog post called “My wife is not a rotisserie chicken or a leaky faucet“.

And some stronger words here from Zach J. Hoag:

It occurred to me that not once in the entire week did I hear any male leader talk about his smokin’ hot wife. Nor even an Obama-esque gaffe about being “cute” or “good-looking.”And that’s because this obsessive male Christian mentality can’t exist where women are speaking and preaching and leading in the same roles as men, mutually submitted to Christ and each other. Such an environment literally chokes out these misogynistic habits or at least exposes them for exactly what they are — objectifying and dehumanizing to women. And make no mistake, that’s what this is, because as soon as a woman is thought of as a thing — a thing like a “smokin’ hot Christian wife” — she becomes less of a person. And, interestingly, a person is exactly what a woman is first and foremost to God, a person made in God’s image, filled with God’s Spirit, and gifted to serve God as a member of the Body of Christ.

OK… both of these guys have probably put much more thought into the smokin’ hot wives debate than I ever will.

My biggest observation:  most of the smokin’ hot wives… aren’t.

Actually… many aren’t smokin’ OR hot.

But that’s ok.

Because it doesn’t matter.

And the truth is… mine IS.  (And I tell her that privately all the time).  The moment I said that on stage somewhere, I’d probably get clobbered.

And… the best part is… today is MY smokin’ hot wife’s birthday.  (It’s ok to say it on a blog… just not on stage).

So… happy birthday, Dawn.

(and you know what you are).


QUESTION:  Even if we all took a vote and your wife IS smokin’ hot… do you feel comfortable saying that from the stage?  (And does she feel comfortable with you saying that?)  Or are the two writers above correct about why you SHOULDN’T do that?




  1. Jeff Ruble
  2. DanO
  3. Fred

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