It’s the time you dread… when it’s time to leave your church job.
Sometimes it’s because you feel God is moving you on, and you’re excited about the next chapter.
Other times you leave out of despair, hurt… and sometimes for your own sanity.
But how do you leave well? With Honesty? And Grace? No matter the situation?
Josh Griffin has the following advice:
Leave at the right time
It isn’t always possible, but leaving at a natural break is best. The end of summer is ideal but not always possible. But even more than leaving at the right time in the calendar, pray through leaving at the right time in the church culture as well. Stay too long after you know you’re done and it’ll be painfully obvious, leave too soon and blindside people.
Make the transition short
I understand the need for a transition time to help prepare students or ensure a peaceful exchange of leadership – but there’s nothing worse than a “lame duck” who is out but still in. Pray through the timing of your announcement and the timing of your last day – typically I wouldn’t put these more than a month or two apart at the most.
Protect the pastor
Don’t cause division in the church – you will only hurt God’s body and leave students and volunteers hurt in the crossfire of departure. Know that God will use that church for His glory, even if you are no longer a part of the leadership. You can’t leave perfectly, but you can minimize damage by controlling your tongue (and ears for that matter).
Leave better not bitter
Take a long hard look at yourself. Don’t jump right into your next position. Take some time to get alone and debrief with your spouse or mentor and get alone with God. Leaving is tough on a church; know that it will leave some scars on you, too. Leaving better means choosing not to divide the church, to walk away … and to work on what God reveals to you in the process.
What would YOU add to Josh’s list?
Todd
Is there ever a situation where leaving quietly and “peacefully” may not be the best for the church? For instance, if there are things that are wrong with the way the church operates that staff people have and will continue to leave over, but no one in the church sees it…is it right to speak up? Make waves for the future of the body?
I am completely for peaceful departures and always thought that’s the way it should be done. However, I am beginning to feel that the best thing for Christ’s bride in this local body is to call out some areas of weakness among administrators. Staff turnover is through the roof and now I see why, as do my predecessors, just too late.
I think you can be as open and honest as you want in face to face, person to person interaction with individuals before you leave. If the leadership is responsible for the continual staff turn over be sure to point this out in your exit interview to the pastoral team. Once you are gone be as gracious as you can be, do not be divisive. If the leadership is at fault, you’ve informed them already before you left. Trust God to be sovereignly in control, pray that even in this painful time He would be glorified, pray you would be humbled and matured, and pray for eventual unity with those you are out of sync with.
Remember, anything said negatively after you leave, even if true, will not have a positive effect or result in change; it will make the former church defensive (and probably more prone to poor leadership) and you will be viewed as being bitter, critical and a trouble maker.
A related but underreported issue is the number of people who leave ministry each month (apx. 1,500 nationwide) never to return to ministry. There are various reasons this is so, but a significant number are forced out of their ministry positions for poor reasons. Where there is a history of bad behavior by church boards, et al, is it time for some to stand up in the model of the Old Testament prophet and shine the light on such things? When it comes to “leaving quietly so the church is not hurt” do we beg the question of the harm that boards/individuals who engage in ousting the pastor cause?