Church Conflict: Why not rather just be wronged?

Truth be told.  We’ve all been there.

Conflict in church settings in inevitable.

When should we stay and fight, and when should we leave?

That’s a tough question.

Joe McKeever makes an impassioned plea about the reputation of the Body of Chris when these conflicts happen.

He asks the question (and I think it’s a good one):  Why can’t we just walk away and let ourselves be wronged?

In some cases… it really is probably the best answer.

Joe writes:

Why not let yourself be wronged?  Why not just “take your lumps” and walk away? Do it…

for God’s sake. His honor is at stake here. That should matter to you more than your rights.

for sanity’s sake.Think of the sheer stupidity of what you are doing.

for the sake of your witness. These court cases are an ugly blot on your community.

for goodness sake. “All you are doing is providing fuel for more wrong, more injustice, and more hurt to the people of your own spiritual family.”

Only the strongest can walk away from a fight he could win but for which the cost would be too high.

1) Consider the collateral damage to a fight.

In brawls on television, furniture gets broken, windows busted, and onlookers injured. In “real life,” churches get destroyed, outsiders get disgusted, young believers get neglected, missions get sidetracked, and the honor of Jesus Christ takes a major hit.

The weak among us–the carnal and the cowardly posing as the courageous and the conquerors–will insist these things will resolve themselves, that all that matters is setting someone straight.

Back away from such a one. He is your biggest enemy and needs to be quarantined.

2) Consider what Jesus would do.

They said, “Lord, speak to my brother. Tell him to divide the inheritance with me.” The trial lawyer in us wants to take that case. “All right, what are the facts? What would be fair? Why is that brother being so heavy-handed and selfish? What does justice require?”

Jesus walked away from it. “Sir, who made me your judge? You be careful of greed. Life is not about how much you can possess.” (Luke 12:13-15)

This does not compute, does it? For those of us willing to take up every case, who insist on righting every wrong and punishing every wrong-doer, we are not satisfied with the Lord’s answer.

Jesus loses no sleep over not satisfying our sense of fair play.

He had, as the saying goes, bigger fish to fry. Something He kept calling “my hour” and “the Father’s will.”

He was trying to change men’s hearts in order to change their lives in order to transform their destiny. The temptation to take every detour that opened up, even those offering attractive soul-satisfying vistas and feel-good revenge settlements, must be resisted.

3) Consider who we are in Christ.

Again and again, the Apostle Paul asks the Corinthians, “Do you not know?”

that we will judge the world and the angels? (vv.2,3)

that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom? (v.9-10)

your bodies are members of Christ? (v.14)

your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit? (v. 19)

The ramifications of these principles are mind-boggling. Because of who we are in Christ, we can walk away from lesser things, wrong things, and even good things. It’s all because we choose the best things.

When you take your brother to court to get your rights, you are defeated before you start. (6:7)

So, why not rather be wronged?

// Read more here:  Church Conflict: Why Not Rather be Wronged? 

OUCH.

So… what do YOU think?

I’d love to hear your comments below.  Come on… you’ve made it this far… what do YOU think about when you should stay and fight, and when you should walk away, even if you feel like you were wronged?

Leave your comment below…

Thanks!

Todd

4 Comments

  1. Rus
  2. Pastor Tom Smith
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  4. Ileana mathenia

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