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No Matter How Bad Things Get in Your Church… Don’t Be This Guy

Ever want to just go off on someone?

Ever just want to throw in the towel and let it all out?

Think you’ve got it bad?

Evidently… not as bad as this Japanese politician.

I hope you handle your pastoral stress better than this guy:

Have you ever lost it?

Todd

God has a bad credit score (and he’s ‘extremely frustrated’)

It’s true. God has a bad credit score.

God Gazarov is a Russian native who was named after his grandfather (who was probably named after… uh… God). God has a problem.  It seems that credit rating company Equifax is giving him a bad credit score because of his first name.  (Two other credit rating companies give him a very high score).

The end result: God was declined for a loan for a new Infiniti last year.

(Of course, God would want to buy an Infiniti… it only makes sense).

When he tried to get Equifax to change the glitch in their system, someone told him he might want to consider changing his first name.

So, God is suing Equifax.

According to God’s attorney, he was ‘forced’ to file a law suit because the company refused to accept his name as legitimate.

Imagine that… someone rejecting God as legitimate.

There’s a sermon illustration in there somewhere.

(You’re welcome).

Todd

Read more here…

10 signs your pastor is a zombie

I think I may have met a few of these in my day…

zombieHT: NakedPastor

 

You think YOU’RE having a bad day?

If you think you’re having a bad day… you’re not.  At least I bet you’re not compared to this guy:

Lesson #1

Don’t be distracted from what you should be doing.

Lesson #2

When you fall… get up.  Quickly.

The real test of pastoral integrity.

You never know, as a church leader, where your integrity may be tested.

My guess is that, while you’ve never thought about it, the dentist might be a huge test of integrity for most all of us.

What physical location is a huge test for YOUR integrity?

Todd

You gotta love this kid…

He’s my idol, actually.  Wait for the end:

What’s the craziest thing a kid has done in your worship services?

Todd

How NOT to hire a worship leader

This from LarkNews.com:

After repeated conflicts with his church board about the direction of Family Life Center, pastor Dave Chandler decided to leave the church. But on his way out he used a little-known clause in the bylaws to singlehandedly hire a new worship leader: Bill MacNerny who specializes in “alien folk music” and “tunes for chickens and other intelligent beings.” MacNerny was last employed as a street performer in Key West, Fla., and has made several albums of himself playing the ukelele and making barnyard sounds.

“We’re in a true bind,” says board member Jeff Garrety. “We couldn’t believe when this bozo showed up to lead worship.”

The quirk in the bylaws gave Chandler sole authority to hire and fire the worship leader and to define contract terms. The contract includes a severability clause of $150,000 if MacNerny is fired before two years. It also specifies that he must lead worship on Sunday mornings and any other time the church meets. Lawyers informed the board that the contract is legitimate and must be respected.

On a recent Sunday morning, MacNerny opened the service with a rendition of “Amazing Grace” in which he encouraged audience members to make “Martian noises.” Few people joined in. He then segued into “This Old Man, he played one, he played knick-knack on my thumb” and seemed unfazed by people’s non-participation.

Read more here…

How churches clap

I think this should be pretty explanatory for most of us…

Clap

From WorshipTeamTraining.com

 

Lot’s daughters

This was too funny NOT to share.

lot

HT:  Scotteriology

The 7 habits of serious church leader procrastinators…

Be sure to tweet a link to this… then put it on facebook with a link to your pinterest page.

Come on, you know you want to.

And, you probably don’t have anything better to do.

7HABITS_fullsize

 

Source.

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