Read more here. So… what is the main reason you think your church (or other churches) are not growing? ToddI agree with Dr. James Emery White: God wants churches to grow. And healthy churches really should be growing churches. Dr. White offers 20 reasons why your church may not be growing. Here are a few of them. Follow the link at the end to see the full list! You aren’t praying for growth. Your lead communicator does not have the spiritual gift of communication. You are not attempting to connect with the next generation. Your church structure stifles leadership, innovation and front-line decision-making. You are methodologically, stylistically and strategically out of date. You have unresolved divisions, tensions and discord within the staff and/or congregation. Your location is counter-productive.
MentalFloss.com for these: 1. Klingon John 3:16: vaD joH’a’ vaj loved the qo’, vetlh ghaH nobta’ Daj wa’ je neH puqloD, vetlh ‘Iv HartaH Daq ghaH should ghobe’ chIlqu’, ‘ach ghaj eternal yIn. 2. LOLCat John 3:16: So liek teh Ceiling Kitteh lieks teh ppl lots and he sez ‘Oh hai I givez u me only kitteh and ifs u beleeves him u wont evr diez no moar, kthxbai!’ 3. Word on the Street Bible You can read some excerpts here, dude. 4. Pidgin English The translation came about through more than a decade of work between linguists at the University of the West Indies and Jamaican theologians. The immaculate conception is announced by the words “De angel go to Mary and say to ‘er, me have news we going to make you well ‘appy. God really, really, bless you and him a walk with you all de time”, rather than the high-flying rhetoric of “And having come in, the angel said to her, ‘Rejoice, highly favoured one, the Lord is with you: blessed are you among women.'” Have a unique Bible version that you’ve found that we don’t include here? Link to it below! ToddHT to
Like Facebook should have a vomit button. Or about how men are bound to cheat. Here and here. Or his million dollar word of knowledge. Or his comment on awful looking women. Or his bad attempt at a wife beating joke. Or him telling a man named Mohammad to change his name. I could go on and on. So… when a satire site publishes an article named: Pat Robertson: Disobedient Wives ‘Must be Spanked’, I had to chuckle a little. And read a little to make sure Pat really didn’t say that. That’s the beauty of satire. (And many people don’t understand satire). The fact that it could be true actually makes it humorous. Here’s part of the piece, featured over at the Daily Currant: Christian television personality Pat Robertson stoked controversy today by telling a female caller that disobedient wives should be spanked by their husbands. On a segment on the long-running 700 Club the 83-year-old Robertson explained to a woman seeking relationship advice that an occasional slap in the rear is the clearest path to marital bliss. “Ma’am, with all due respect, it seems like the problem in your marriage is disobedience,” he told the caller. “When a wife disobeys her husband the holy bond between the two starts to disintegrate and all sorts of problems start to crop up. “The apostle Paul tells us in Corinthians the importance of submission. And when you lose that submission in a marriage, there’s only one solution: a sound spanking on the bottom. “Wives must be spanked by their husbands. It’s the only way to keep biblical order. Nothing too hard, just enough to let her know he’s the one in charge. So I have to ask, when was your last spanking dear?” So… what do you think? Hilarious satire or disgusting right-wing defaming of a television evangelist? ToddPat Robertson has a bit of a credibility problem. I’ve taken some fun jabs at Pat over the recent years. He just seems to say some goofy things at times.